Shame is a very powerful emotion that when not acknowledged and processed fully within us can paralyze our lives, Emotionally, spiritually and physically. Creating limiting thoughts and fear based programs in our mind that influence our actions perceptionsand emotions. Shame is the result of fear of judgment within an incomplete and dualistic perspective. Truth is inclusive of all possible realities. Often times when we trigger pain or suffering in others we are acting from fear and from an inability to process our own pain and fear. In order to act from a place of neutrality and authenticity we must be aware of ourselves, of our darkness and of our light, as well as the healing our inner child requires so that we do not act unconsciously from open wounds. Triggering further pain and suffering unconsciously in others and ourselves creating heavier cords between us.
Overcoming toxic shame requires you to:
1. Become attuned to the script of your inner dialogue and expand your capacity to observe, but not react to it.
2. Develop greater inner compassion with yourself–being able to choose compassion as an alternative to cultivate a dialogue of increased self-acceptance of your humanity. This means recognizing that, like all humans, you have flaws and weaknesses, make mistakes and suffer. We are not alone, even when we feel that we are.
3.Cut toxic relationships that trigger shame. We sometimes "Abuse" our personal boundaries by putting ourselves in cyclical toxic relationships. Notice which of your relationships trigger shame and work in understanding how these dynamics are played out. Where can you love yourself more and where do you need to communicate to change these dynamics in order to assist you in sharing the highest vibrational relationship possible.
4. Become a “witness to” and mourning your wounds. This requires the ability to identify and sit with the pain associated with your hurts-current and past .Be Brave Do the work: We spend lifetimes avoiding feeling our emotions, this hinders our personal growth and evolution.
5. Forgive yourself for feelings, thoughts or actions of your “former selves”. It is easy to beat yourself with hindsight about the insight that you lacked at an earlier age. However, you can only act from the awareness you have at any given moment.
Key Strategies for Overcoming Toxic Shame
6. Formal mindfulness meditation is a powerful strategy to become less reactive to thoughts or feelings we experience.
7. Practicing informal mindfulness can strengthen your sensitivity to recognize the inner-hostile voice as an expression of anger and as an effort to avoid shame. Do a daily check-in–observe your thoughts for 1-2 minutes, several times a day. GPAC - Ground Protect Align Create, also ask yourself if the emotions you are feeling are the ultimate truth or biast to our fears and preconceived experiences
8. Expand your compassionate self by cultivating a more compassionate inner dialog that can serve as an alternative to a harshly critical voice. This involves the gradual cultivation of a vocabulary that reflects forgiveness and self-acceptance, even when you are not always feeling it. Identify what words of compassion you would have wanted to hear as a child and what you need now.
Developing compassion as an antidote for shame requires patience and commitment. But it is an essential challenge to address in order to decrease your vulnerability to destructive anger. Unfortunately, shame itself can undermine your practice of self-compassion. It can force you to reject compassion from others or, even, from yourself. As such, addressing this challenge may require the assistance. For DNA Reprogramming email me directly at info@bayareameditaiton.com
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